Cliveden House: WEEKEND OF SEX, SPIES, LIES AND DOWNFALLS

THE Astor's sprawling Cliveden House on 150ha on the banks of the River Thames.

David Ellis

FORTY NINE years ago this month British socialites, the 2nd Viscount and Lady Astor invited some friends to their stately Cliveden House on the banks of the Thames just outside London, for a summer's weekend of partying, tennis, croquet, boating on the river, and generally having a good time.

Little would they realise that their weekend would take on dimensions greater than anyone could have imaged: it resulted in one of Britain's greatest sex scandals, a spy expose, a suicide, the downfall of one of the country's most senior Cabinet Ministers – and ultimately the fall of the government itself.

Cliveden House has seldom been out of the public eye since the first "house" was built on its 150ha (375 acres) in 1666 by the 2nd Duke of Buckingham as an escape-hole with his mistress, burned down in 1795, and its replacement destroyed by fire in 1849.

To the horror of many, including "an astonished" Queen Victoria, the now-third Cliveden House was bought in 1893 by America's wealthiest man – William Waldorf Astor, who confounded British society even more by becoming a naturalised British subject, and going on to also purchase Hever Castle that brought with it the title Viscount Astor.

Astor's wife died prematurely and in 1906 he gave Cliveden to his son, Waldorf as a wedding gift, and moved himself into Hever Castle.

The newly-weds lost no time in inviting political leaders, writers, film stars, artists and other celebrities to lavish weekends at Cliveden House, amongst them Charlie Chaplin, Mahatma Gandhi, F.D. Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Harold Macmillan, Joseph Kennedy, T.E. Lawrence, Rudyard Kipling and aviatrix Amy Johnson.

The Astor's were generous to a fault, and in WWI built a hospital in their grounds for the Canadian Red Cross; this was dismantled at war's end, and when WWII erupted the Astor's again offered the site for another hospital

And in 1942 they donated the entire property to the British National Trust, with the proviso they could live there for as long as they wished – giving the Trust 250,000 English pounds (around AU$15.2-million today) for its perpetual upkeep.

It was in 1961 the Astor's included amongst guests Britain's then Minister of War, John Profumo and his glamorous actress wife Valerie Hobson, Lord Mountbatten of Burma, and the President of Pakistan to a summer party on the weekend of July 8th at Cliveden.

Also invited to stay in the property's separate Spring Cottage was a London society osteopath, Stephen Ward who took with him several friends including 19-year old fun-loving, Christine Keeler and a Russian Assistant Naval Attache, Captain Yevgeny Ivanov.

FUN-time Christine Keeler at the time
of her illicit relationship with Britain's
then-Minister of War, the married
John Profumo.

At one stage of the balmy July evening, Profumo and others wandered down to the swimming pool to investigate sounds of much gaiety, and it was here he set eyes for the first time on Christine Keeler; within days they were lovers.

It lasted only several months before Profumo ended the relationship, but a question was raised in parliament by an Opposition member; Profumo categorically denied any improper relationship – and was floored when Keeler sold "their" story to a London newspaper.

Worse, she revealed she had been sleeping at the same time with the Russian Naval Attache, Ivanov – who, even worse-still it emerged, was a Soviet spy.

Profumo confessed to the House of Commons he had lied, and resigned.

The British government, hell-bent to distance itself from the scandal, bizarrely charged the osteopath Stephen Ward (who'd introduced Profumo and Keeler at Cliveden House,) with living off immoral earnings from Keeler's other relationships; Ward committed suicide before his case ended.

SPRING COTTAGE in the grounds of Cliveden House
– in which Christine Keeler stayed during
that ill-fated weekend in July 1961.

The current operators of Cliveden House, von Essen hotels have put together an intriguing Profumo Affair package there on the night of July 30: a mere 497.50pp British Pounds (AU$880pp) gets twin-share, a "Scandal Tour" walk around the property with long-time "Affair" researcher and expert Rupert Gavin, a Champagne and canapé reception, and a further "inside" talk over a 3-course dinner with wine by Rupert Gavin as to what secrets of The Profumo Affair his research suggests the government is still so determined to hide.

Next morning there's full English breakfast and use of the property's indoor and outdoor pools, tennis and squash courts, gym and hot tubs.

If you'd like a stay at Cliveden House, now a stately home hotel, visit www.clivedenhouse.co.uk

Wierd Travel Experience of the Week: Trash Talk

Sitting peacefully eating a sandwich at Copenhagen Airport this week. The food court area was busy and, like anywhere else in the world, some travellers had left their tables hurriedly, leaving scraps and unfinished meals. I squeezed onto the end of one such table, now vacant except for food and container debris.

Michael Palin: Still (working like) Crazy After All These Years

Thanks to Simon and Garfunkel for most of the title.

Way back last October I told you of my plans to write a novel. Well, I still have plans and more words to show for it. But it's difficult to clear the days and just concentrate on writing. Being President of The Royal Geographical Society (I started a three-year term in June last year) involves a lot of appearances at the Society to introduce speakers and occasionally give talks myself and this last year, a lot of time spent fund-raising for improvements to the Society's headquarters just along from the Albert Hall. Which is where I joined Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam as one-night guest stars in Eric and John Du Prez's take on The Life Of Brian called Not The Messiah. So for the second time in my life (the first being at the Concert for George) I found myself singing The Lumberjack Song at the Albert Hall. Only this time I got the words of the chorus wrong! Must be old age!

There was also a Python reunion in New York, so the old bugger is still alive and well and giving me yet another excuse for not finishing the novel.

Recent interruptions have included a brilliant visit to Bologna in Italy for a Film Festival celebrating the work of Peter Sellers. Every time I see work by him and Spike Milligan I realise how much I've been influenced by them both in acting and writing. In a rare clip from 1953, one of their sketches begins with two men banging coconuts together. "Give the horses some water", someone says, and they drop the coconuts into a bucket.

Also to Warsaw last month to promote the publication of the book of my journey Around The World In Eighty Days which now joins Himalaya and Sahara (and my first novel Hemingway's Chair) in a specially translated Polish edition. And earlier in the year, as the ash clouds gathered over Europe, to Paris to promote the first French language edition of Pole to Pole.

Have tried hard to resist the temptations of book festivals. I feel that I should write the book first and then go to the festivals. But I've been seduced by the delights of southern Ireland to attend the West Cork Literary Festival to which I'm paying a flying visit this Thursday, 8th July.

That same day sees the publication of the easy-to-read, lightweight, all-singing, all-dancing paperback edition of my Diaries from the 1980s, Halfway To Hollywood, so I'll be doing some signings and radio and TV interviews over the next two weeks. Again, instead of writing the novel!

Two bits of travel news. If negotiations work out well I plan to reunite with the team next year to shoot a three-part BBC1 series in Brazil. I hope we can sort it all out satisfactorily as I shall soon be too old to move unaided. (Though whenever I think I'm too old I look at David Attenborough, now into his eighties and still showing us whippersnappers a clean pair of heels!)

In late March I spent a week in Orissa, a state on the Eastern side of India, south of Kolkata and north of Chennai. I can recommend it. Little known by tourists from outside India, the capital Bhubaneswar has plenty of accommodation and some of the finest Hindu temples I've ever seen. Beautiful craftsmanship dating back nearly 2000 years. There's wildlife and dolphins in an inland sea-water lake nearby and further upstate are forested hills which are home to the adivasis - the oldest indigenous tribes of India. They are sadly not being left alone. The hills amongst which they have lived for many centuries contain valuable minerals and a huge aluminium refinery was built near the Nyamgiri Hills recently. The mining company want to get at reserves of bauxite, and a particularly rich seam runs through the Nyamgiri Hills. Unfortunately several indigenous peoples still live there including the Dongria Kondh, for whom the hills gave always been sacred.

The company is currently awaiting a decision from the Indian government which they hope will allow it to begin mining, which will involve bulldozing and blasting the top of the hills to a depth of some 30 metres. The villages of the Dongria Kondh will be destroyed if the project goes through. Depressing because we all use aluminium so we're all to an extent complicit. But for the people who have lived here for so long, and whose way of life doesn't need aluminium, the impact of what is to happen is impossible for them to understand.

I found this head-on collision of ancient and modern ways of life deeply sad. Recently in the Independent newspaper the business section advised that the shares of the company that is mining in Orissa might be a good buy despite its record and reputation. I wrote this letter in protest and it was published in the paper last Thursday 1st July:

"At least your Business Section is commendably honest about claiming the moral low ground. "If You Can Stomach It, Vedanta Is A Good Buy", Independent 30.06.10.

I certainly couldn't stomach it. But then I've been to the Nyamgiri Hills in Orissa and seen the forces of money and power that Vedanta Resources have arrayed against a people who have occupied their land for thousands of years, who husband the forest sustainably and make no great demands on the state or the government. The tribe I visited simply want to carry on living in the villages that they and their ancestors have always lived in. Vedanta shares will doubtless go up when and if permission is granted to bulldoze their sacred hills in order to extract bauxite. If you want to make some money out of that, as the Independent recommends, that's up to you. If, on the other hand you have any reservations about destroying a way of life, you might wish to pause, think and read a little more about what's going on in the Nyamgiri Hills".

It's a story to watch.

Now I'm escaping into the wonderful world of fiction to avoid all this awfulness. Or better still, to confront it.

Love to all. Thanks for continuing to join me on the site and, whatever you do, never lose interest in the world!

Michael

July 5th, 2010

Struth! Lake Eyre yachties host first regatta

STRUTH ! 

IN his continuing search for the more weird, wacky and wondrous in this world, David Ellis says for the first time, members of the ten years old Lake Eyre Yacht Club finally have the opportunity to go sailing – because never before since the Club was formed on April Fool's Day 2000 have they actually had a lake with enough water in it to sail on.

And equally interesting, Lake Killamperpunna that the regatta will be sailed on from July 5th to 9th, and which is part of the Lake Eyre system, has filled with water from Cooper Creek that's not flooded across the Birdsville Track and into Killamperpunna for twenty years.

Already over fifty Lake Eyre Yacht Club members are on the road or have towed their boats to Lake Killamperpunna that's 160km up the Birdsville Track from remote Marree (itself 685km north of Adelaide.)

And their historic first-ever regatta will be sailed in a surreal landscape of wildflower-covered sand-dunes lapped by water that's a seldom-seen item in this part of the world.

Dubbed "The World's Most Exclusive Yacht Club" the Lake Eyre Yacht Club has around 140 members who live in mainly coastal areas in all States except the Northern Territory, and their "yachties" club house in Marree is one of the most photographed buildings in the Outback.

As well as a quirky and off-beat tourist icon selling souvenirs (to pay for the club's maintenance) the club house is also a valuable information source of up-to-the-minute information for tourists venturing to Lake Eyre and other parts of the Inland.

For more details of the Lake Eyre Yacht Club's first-ever regatta and conditions in the Outback go to www.lakeeyreyc.com

BOWRAL SOARS HIGH ON MARY POPPINS LEGACY

david ellis

SHE's the world's most famous super-nanny, a no-nonsense figure who floats around under an umbrella, resolving the seemingly insurmountable with little more than a spoonful of sugar.

And come next month she will have been enthralling us for exactly a century, a milestone we can reasonably presume would suggest that she was – naturally – the creation of one of the most fertile literary minds of Europe, Britain, the United States…

How wrong we can be, for in fact she was the inspiration of a 12-year old schoolgirl from the-then tiny village of Bowral in the rural Southern Highlands of NSW.

But unlike in the books of her adventures, Mary Poppins didn't blow into Bowral on an east wind in July 1910 as easily as she did into the Banks' family home at Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane – her coming-about had a much more unhappy genesis.

The mother of schoolgirl Helen Lyndon Goff moved with Helen and her two younger sisters to Bowral from Queensland in 1907 after their bank clerk dad, Travers Goff died at an early age.

Helen boarded at school in Sydney and only returned home during school holidays as her mother struggled to make ends meet raising her girls and fighting the grief of losing a husband and father.

A fond Aunt Ellie in Sydney gave financial and other support, but one bleak winter's night in mid-July 1910, the grieving mother ran out into the pouring rain and threw herself into a swollen creek at the bottom of the family's Holly Street backyard.

Bedraggled and failing in her bid to drown her herself she went back into the house and past the children into her room – and instantly to take their minds off what they had just seen, the 12 year old Helen wrapped her siblings in an eiderdown in front of the fire and began telling them the story of a magical white horse that could fly down from the heavens and perform amazing deeds on land, in the sky and under the sea.

She made the story up as she went along and until her younger sisters had fallen asleep – but in subsequent days when begged to tell more stories in front of the fire, the magical horse evolved into an equally magical nanny.

As she grew up, Helen dreamed of becoming an actor, but unable to find opportunities turned to writing instead, adopting the name Pamela Lyndon (PL) Travers (her father's first name) and writing eight Mary Poppins stories.

Walt Disney sought film rights to these as early as 1938, but remarkably was rebuffed by PL Travers who "did not believe film could do justice to her creation." She eventually relented – but only with unique script-approval rights included – and Disney's classic Mary Poppins with Julie Andrews and Dick van Dyke was released in 1964.

Many researchers believe Helen Goff as PL Travers based her Mary Poppins on the benevolent Aunt Ellie who paid the rent for the Bowral home, and while living in Sydney, "always seemed to be on hand to fix things."

Now Southern Highland locals, business and civic groups are planning a week of festivities in mid-July to celebrate the 100th anniversary of when they believe Mary Poppins was first conceived as a "magical flying horse" on the night Helen Goff's mother attempted suicide.

Amongst them is 17 year old school student, Melissa McShane who has spent five years with her father Paul, a Southern Highlands businessman, researching the life and times of Helen Goff as she evolved into PL Travers.

Melissa has also been one of the driving forces to have a statue erected in Bowral in honour of the writer – and remarkably has won permission from the family of the late British sculptor Sean Crampton to use drawings he had made for a sculpture of the super-nanny in New York (and which never went ahead because of a lack of funds,) to be erected in Bowral.

It will cost around $60,000 and will be placed at the town's Bradman Oval, as coincidentally the cricketing great as a schoolboy lived just a few houses from young Helen Goff in Holly Street.

When it all comes about, it will be, as Mary Poppins would doubtless have observed herself, "practically perfect."

(See www.mary-poppins-birthplace.net) 

 

PHOTO CAPTIONS:

[] BOWRAL student Melissa McShane as Mary Poppins (photo courtesy Corinne Dany Photography & Design www.corinnedany.com)

[] AUTHOR PL Travers (Helen Goff) reviews the script for Disney's 1964 movie based on her Mary Poppins books

[] HELEN Goff watches her younger sisters in the creek behind their Bowral home – where Mary Poppins first evolved

[] BRITISH sculptor Sean Crampton's design for a Mary Poppins' statue for New York – now Bowral may get it after the New York venture fell through

 

 

Struth! World's largest hamburger. Would you like fries with that?

STRUTH ! 

IN his continuing search for the more weird, wacky and wondrous in this world, David Ellis says that a Sydney café touted as having this month created the world's largest hamburger, may not have the record in the bag (or the box) after all…

The husband and wife team at the café, in suburban Randwick made the meat "pattie" for their gargantuan burger from 84kg of mince bound together by 120 eggs, put it in a "bun" made up of 21kg of dough, and garnished the lot with 16 tomatoes, 120 slices of cheese, a couple of kilos of lettuce and a bucket of barbecue sauce.

But its been revealed that last month in Toronto, Canadian celebrity TV chef Ted Reader who hosts cooking show King of the Q, created a burger that left this seeming monster in the shade: his effort scaled-in at a whopping 200kg nestled in a "bun" that weighted a-near 50kg.

Chef Reader – promoted as Canada's "barbecue guru" – took six hours with a crew of ten helpers to grill his mammoth burger in Toronto's Yonge-Dundas Square, topping it off with 20kg of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and sauce.

After completing their calorie-laden spectacular that weighed a total 265kg (590-pounds,) Ted Reader and his team cut it up and sold portions to an admiring crowd – raising $8,500 on-the-spot for a camping program for children suffering burns injuries.

Hervey Bay whale watching

Hervey Bay whale watch fleet awaits return of barnacled beauties

As the first pods of humpback whales enter Queensland waters on their 2010 migration, the vessels in the Hervey Bay whale watch fleet are preparing to welcome the barnacled beauties back to their favoured holiday destination.

There's no watching the whales pass by at Hervey Bay. The experience is totally "up close and personal" and it all takes place in sheltered waters, not the open sea.

A whale watch encounter in Hervey Bay is time spent with the whales at play, its the joy of having a new mum trust the fleet enough to bring her baby over to the boat, and its cheering as friendly youngsters perform for their audience and show off newly crafted acrobatic skills.

The 10 operators in the Hervey Bay fleet offer a selection of whale encounters ranging from short and sweet half day tours to leisurely full day sailing experiences. And for those with extra time, there are extended packages available showcasing the region's other natural wonders such as Fraser Island and Lady Elliot Island on the Great Barrier Reef.

Nature also value-adds to the whale cruises with sightings of other marine life – dolphins, turtles, seabirds and often dugongs, all residents in the waters of Platypus Bay on the north-western end of Fraser Island where the whales take their annual vacation.  

Visitors arriving early in July can join a Whalesong Cruises "Whale Search" cruises for the chance to see some of the first whales to enter the Bay. Or later in the month they can choose from morning and afternoon cruises. A selection of extended packages are also available including a Fraser and Whales Superticket combining a whale watch cruise and a Fraser Island Company full day Fraser Island Safari; a Fraser Hummer Whales Package including whale watching and an island tour for a maximum of four people in a Fraser Island Company Hummer; and the 3 in 1 Eco Package including a Fraser Island tour, whale watching and a day tour to Lady Elliott island where you can swim and snorkel on the Great Barrier Reef.

Hervey Bay Whale Watch's 'no frills but lots of thrills' cruises on the red rigid inflatable "That's Awesome" are available for dawn (7am-10am), day (10.30am-1.30pm) and dusk (2.30pm-5.30pm) patrols. From the same fleet, the larger Quick Cat II offers two cruises daily, a 7am departure and a 1pm departure. They also offer a Superpass including a morning whale watch, light breakfast, morning and afternoon tea and ranger-guided nature walk on Fraser Island. Kingfisher Resort Whale Watch Cruise guests also travel on Quick Cat II. 

Tasman Venture Whale Watching and Spirit of Hervey Bay Whale Watching Cruises half-day tours depart at 8.30am and 1.30pm. Spirit also offers Sunshine Coast departures for the whale watch cruises, and a Whales and Fraser Island Adventure Ticket including a full day Fraser Island Explorer Tour and a half day whale watch cruise. The luxurious Freedom Whale Watch III offers ¾ day cruises, as does Mikat Whale Cruises, fresh from a refit earlier in the year.

For a more leisurely experience, Shayla Sailing Cruises and Blue Dolphin Marine Tours offer full day sailing and whale watching experiences with morning, afternoon tea and lunches included.

Adult, concession, child and family packages are available on all cruises and the season runs from late July through to November. For more information on cruises and accommodation packages visit www.whalesherveybay.com.au

Getting there:

Qantaslink offers daily flights between Brisbane and the Fraser Coast. www.qantas.com.au

Virgin Blue flies direct to Hervey Bay from Sydney with connections from other ports. www.virginblue.com.au

QR Tilt Train packages from Brisbane to Hervey Bay start at $74 per person one way. www.tilttrain.com.au

For more information on the Hervey Bay and the Fraser Coast visit www.queenslandholidays.com.au

Struth! Holiday in a Box

STRUTH ! 

IN his continuing search for the more weird, whacky and wondrous in this world, David Ellis warns: don't tell Mr Rudd, but New Zealand has found a cheap and easy way of detaining a record number of prisoners it can't fit into its over-crowded gaols.

Its building inexpensive, transportable prisons out of old shipping containers.

And while civil libertarians are aghast, NZ prison authorities point out that tens of thousands of the 12m by 2.4m containers are already being used around the world for everything from houses and holiday homes in the South Pacific and Hawaii, to offices, shops and even restaurants in Europe, the United States, China and, yes, Australia.

And more-imaginative owners and architects have even piled then several rows high in Europe to make elaborately shaped blocks of "flats" in cities, or square and more simple shapes in remote mining, logging and other regional areas.

New Zealand's Corrections Minister, Judith Collins says the old containers can be moved around the country as needed, with each container having three cells that each accommodates two prisoners.

"If they can be made into nice homes that are warm in winter and cool in summer, they can obviously be made into very good prison cells," she says, noting that they are strong, weatherproof and even salt-water proof.

And while civil libertarians liken them to "inhumanely putting people into tin cans," Ms Collins had the last word.

"Prisons are not holiday camps. Crime is voluntary, and if people want to commit crime, then there is going to be a response, And that response may very well be prison."